and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
