I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
