I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
