Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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