Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes

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(925): View more from California

He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.

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(315): View more from New York

We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.

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(406): View more from Montana

I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!

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(815): View more from Illinois

I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.

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(478): View more from Georgia

But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong

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