Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
