If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
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she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
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ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!