hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.