i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?