wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT