I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
