If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
