My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
