break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
