I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
