The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
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I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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