shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
