Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
