I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
