Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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