Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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