my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I look better un-naked...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
