all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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