did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My Higher Power is John Stamos
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize