Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I stole a fireplace last night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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