i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You are the jesus of drinking
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
