How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
