I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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