K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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