im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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