Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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