so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
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he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high