Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD