1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.