We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon