he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
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My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
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When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.