i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
