jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
