I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
