I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Alive.
So much puke
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
