Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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