CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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