Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There r osticjed everywhere
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
