I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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