You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
