Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
