Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
