Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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