Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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