my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
