you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
