i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
