So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
