We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize