After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
