No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
