oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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