i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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