I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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