i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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