Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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