Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
