God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
