Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
