I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
