i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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