But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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